Today is my late grandmother's birthday.
(That’s my brother, Dale, on his 5th birthday.)
We call her Mama because she didn’t want to be called lola which I will also adapt in the future. I guess it was also a Spanish-influenced way of addressing your grandmother.
Anyway, I really miss her. We all do. I still cry every time I think of her, every time I remember the good old days and my happy memories with her, every time I remember that night on the 17th of April, 2006. I guess I will always have that in me. Though I am okay and I have accepted that fact, I will still grieve for her.
She was my forever guardian and my second mother.
I remember she never wanted to brush my hair or cut my Goldilocks-like hair. She wanted it to stay that way. I still have my Goody comb for curly hair which she always used for my hair. Nowadays, every stroke I made using my comb on my hair, I imagine her doing it. I guess that comb connects the two of us, creating a bond that only the two of us have.
I also miss her cooking. Aside from my mom, she was also a great cook. Every single dish she made was delicious. My favorite was her Kare-Kare, Mechado, Morcon and Adobong may Atay. Her delicious desserts were Leche Flan, Fruit Salad and Bilo-bilo. I remember she used oval pans and the old school style of cooking Leche Flan. She makes a lot of batch to give out to our other relatives. She was really a good host for gatherings because she’ll immediately serve food and drinks to them the moment the guests arrived.
She also had a lot of lovebirds that she took care of. She fed and bred them. But now they seemed to have join their master.
I also miss the colorful orchids around the house because of her.
Five years have passed but I can still remember her scent, whether it is her perfume or just her.
I miss you chasing me because you want me to drink those awful medicines.
I miss you sleeping beside me.
I miss you always waiting for you favorite telenovelas, whether Mexican or Filipino.
I miss how you divide the chocolates to us and always give me the extra ones because you think I don’t eat a lot. Well, I do now.
I miss how you love Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut and Coffee Crumble-flavored ice cream. I remember how I always gave you my share because I don't like them.
I miss our drinking race even though we’re just chugging down juice or milk. I am younger but still you always beat me.
I miss a lot of things about you that this post will not be enough to hold all my words. And I am holding back my tears that’s why I seem to have lost what I wanted to say.
(May 24, 2005; At the airport going to Bangkok with Mama, my sibs, Dale and Airish)
It’s just that I miss having you here, mama. I really do. Always have, always will.
Feliz cumpleaños, abuelita! :')
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